ESPN Insider Says Matt Ryan Is NFL MVP
by Tommy Gimler Apparently ESPN Insider KC Joyner doesn’t give a baker’s fuck that I’m paying sixty bucks over the next three years to get “inside information” not available to the general public. If...
View ArticleVictor Cruz Is 76% Gay And Other Useless Internet “Facts”
by Tommy Gimler Eli Manning hooked up with Victor Cruz for a 57-yard touchdown in the Giants’ first preseason game of the year tonight, but according to the website GayOrStraight.com, Cruz is 76% gay,...
View ArticleDUD NFL Preview: AFC East
by Tommy Gimler If the AFC East plays out the way the grease balls in Vegas say it will, the New England Patriots should murder their division rivals this year and have this bitch wrapped up by...
View ArticleHere’s What Patriots Fans Had To Say On Twitter When Their Team Was Getting...
by Tommy Gimler If you head to the ol’ Twitter looking for insightful fan analysis of their favorite NFL teams, you’re a fucking idiot. But in terms of pure entertainment value, it’s no video of two...
View ArticleAdam Feuerberg’s Report On Four Teams All Of Us Actually Give A Shit About
by Adam Feuerberg So the stage is set for what I consider to be the last real weekend in football, NFL Conference Championship Sunday. I know the real NFL title is decided in the Super Bowl, but that...
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Tom Brady Is An UGG-Wearing Bitch
by Eddie Bagelstein Like most rational, non-Massholian folks, I hate Tom Brady even more because he wears UGGs. What kind of self respecting three-time Super Bowl champion wears UGGs? Do you see...
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An Absolute Dipshit Asked Bill Belichick If Tom Brady Will Be The Starter...
by Tommy Gimler Jesus Christ. Tom Brady is going to miss the first four games of the 2016 NFL season because Roger Goodell is an egotistical shitdick. Well, that and Chris Mortensen writes lies, gets...
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Marry/F**k/Kill: The Tom Brady, Jimmy Garoppolo & Jacoby Brissett Edition
by Frank Rhombus I guess this qualifies as Super Bowl 51 coverage? Now I can’t be for certain, but I’m pretty sure that I once read in Highlights that 84 percent of Americans have played some form of...
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Here’s The Perfect Valentine’s Day Card For That Football Lover In Your Life
by Tommy Gimler Well, at least it beats the Darren Sharper one in which you’re apologizing for the rape. Happy Valentine’s Day to all you poor bastards who got suckered into buying a dozen roses and...
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At Least One Betting Website Thinks Tom Brady Will Be On The Browns Next Year
by Tommy Gimler Not every company tests their employees for crack use, people. Despite the fact the Patriots are no longer alive in this year’s NFL Playoffs, that hasn’t kept them out of the...
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